Eluwak

"Youth is like a big plate of candy. Sentimentalists think they want to be in the pure, simple state they were in before they ate the candy. They don't. They just want the fun of eating it all over again. The matron doesn't want to repeat her girlhood - she wants to repeat her honeymoon. I don't want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again." - Amory Blaine in This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Since our trip to New Orleans back in March, we really have not done much of anything beyond the daily grind. Finally, after that prolonged lull, we went on road trips two weekends in a row. Last weekend, we went to Occoneechee State Park in the southern most part of Virginia, and the weekend before, we went to Rochester to catch a Red Wings game, go to the Seneca Park Zoo, visit The Sonnenberg, and talk to builders about possibly building a house.

We had an amazing time for both trips. It was great to get out of town. I need a regular fix of travel - it need not be terribly far, but it needs to be away from home, especially given how much I despise living here in Washington. We need to plan a couple more trips for the summer - so far, we only have plans for five days surrounding the Fourth of July holiday (we are going to Rochester and then the Thousand Islands where I grew up and where my parents still live).

Here are a couple of photos from our recent adventures.

Party for Life

Lazy man,
Near crazy,
Inquisitive tongue and free-spirited.
Passionate but whimsical,
Let's party for life.

Rust From a Flood

Mean blood can't make you old,
Time as fast as the day did,
Like spontaneous rust from a flood.

My office has magnetic poetry on the refrigerator in our kitchen by the coffee machine. Being a serious cofeeholic, I spend a lot of time waiting for the machine to spit out my next round, so I have taken to composing longer, more elaborate pieces of poetry that I iteratively work on throughout the week. I think that I will begin selecting a few to share on this blog periodically.

Here is my first composition, which I have entitled, "Crush the Truthful Ache."

Repulsive whisper beneath sordid lust,
lie when drunk.
Ugly eternity under our red chains,
winded but best dead.
Luscious sleep crush the truthful ache.
Rob irreverent bitter men.
Why play optimistic?
None will go tonight.

My second composition was a little shorter - I call it "Crush Me."

Compelling love
Raw joy and pain
Spirited scream
Crush me

Nancy 's organization has been holding its Annual Conference in New Orleans over the past five days, and Xan and I decided to tag along and make a little vacation of it. By coming here, I have closed out my top three, must-see before I die Southern cities list (we went to the other two, Charleston and Savannah, last September).

New Orleans is not a sophisticated or particularly clean place. What it does have is character. The city possesses a distinctly wild flavor and is seething with history. In the short time I have been here I have learned to overlook its grime and poverty and have fallen for its many charms.

Tonight is St. Patrick's day, so I am hoping to be able to post some entertaining stories and pictures tomorrow before we leave to head home. Stay tuned...

As I approach my 30th birthday, I would have thought my impatience would have been tempered by wisdom. Unfortunately, my soul is a change-seeker, and although I have learned tremendous patience in my daily life, the larger things in life gnaw at me relentlessly.

Here I sit in my personal purgatory. Something fairly significant is on the horizon, I have made my move, and now all that is left to do is wait.

Great, sitting and waiting - two skills I have yet to master. 

I can feel the stirrings deep within myself. They have been gently bubbling for several months, and I know that it is only a matter of time before they work their way to the surface. Trapped there, they will burn like acid until I find a way to relieve the pressure.

I am a creature that craves change, growth, progress, destruction and resurrection. By all measures, I should be happier than ever before. I am married to my soul mate, I have the most wonderful son in the world, my career is relatively fulfilling, and I seem to be on a path to financial success. It isn't that I am unhappy - quite the contrary, I am content. That is the crux of the problem. My soul requires challenges and trials, triumphs and excitement.

Alas, this is my curse and my gift. If I can channel this need purposefully, I can achieve great things. If I sit and stagnate too long, it will eventually burst forth, and I will enter a phase of self-destruction that will throw me once more into the flaming abyss just so that I may once again rebuild and emerge from the ashes.

I feel the seismic tremors starting now. If I do not take action soon, I will erupt. Thankfully, I have put into motion a number of initiatives that will hopefully succeed and release this pressure without jeopardizing everything that I have worked so hard to build. One will return me to the land that I consider home, another will help me build my empire for my son and posterity, and the other will hopefully have a lasting, positive impact on society.

A restless soul can be a great liability or a tremendous asset. I hope that I can keep mine along the latter path. At least I can take some solace in the fact that I am self aware enough to recognize and address this.

"This above all: to thine own self be true."

"Oh, it isn't that I mind the glittering caste system. I like having a bunch of hot cats on top, but gosh, Kerry, I've got to be one of them." - Amory Blaine in F. Scott Fitzgerald's This Side of Paradise.

Now that I am a dad, it seems like I have so little time to keep up with even the simplest side interests. I just realized that I have not posted in well over a month. Even worse, I have not put up more pictures of Alexander and our family since just after Thanksgiving! Well, it is time to rectify that injustice!

Thanksgiving this year was very special for us. It was our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, our first with our newborn son Alexander, and the first in our own home. While dealing with a newborn and cooking an extensive meal concomitantly can be quite exhausting, it was well worth the effort. We are looking forward to celebrating many more with our new family.